Within just three days of Robby getting home, he got a full time job working for Unitas Dental. It was bitter-sweet, I knew how incredible an opportunity it was…but I wasn't ready to give up all the time I wanted to spend with him. Well, besides my selfish wishes..he started the next day! He works 8-5 {sometimes 7-4, if I'm lucky :) }, and 3 times a week I am still working 5-7 (Fridays 4-6) for Ms. Carol.
But I'll talk more about that later…
These past two months have included some of the most hard, amazing and incredible experiences that I want to remember forever. So heres where the big stuff comes in.
May 7th I had a meeting scheduled with Bishop Patterson. He is such an incredible Bishop, so I was anxious to see why he called me in. He 1st acknowledged the fact that he had been thinking about me, and had some pretty clear promptings that I should meet with him. He then asked about how my life was, and he did something very interesting. He asked me about my goals and dreams. I told him I want to become a nurse, and so I am pursuing that with my education. And then he brought up a mission. He asked if I had ever thought about it, and I told him I most definitely had. I told him I spent 11 months praying earnestly about it. I was taken back by this thought (Why now? Why right when I have Robby home and I can finally date him in person?), but knew how sincere bishop was. He asked me to pray about it one last time, and mentioned the incredible blessings that may come if I serve a mission and Robby waited for me. I left to go back to Robby's. And thats when it hit me. A mission? I thought I knew I wasn't supposed to go? I thought Robby was the answer to that prayer??
Robby knew something was up when I got to his house, so we took a walk outside. I broke the news that bishop wanted me to pray about a mission, and I immediately started to cry when I told him. He was so taken back, we decided to stop at the park in his neighborhood. We tried desperately to understand the Lord's will, because this was so far from what we had been thinking about. Robby earlier that day had told me how the Lord had confirmed to him that we were doing the right things. And this just seemed to contradict those confirmations we have received throughout our whole relationship. I have never cried so hard in my whole life, and Robby had broken down completely too. We held each other, but nothing seemed to help. I remember sitting on a bench, and looking up into the sky. I felt completely lost, confused and honestly scared to ask Heavenly Father His will. It was like suddenly my life had been flipped upside down. I knew what I had to do that night…but would I really be willing to go on a mission and leave the man I love? We tried to console each other…but it has never been harder. I wanted so badly to ask Heavenly Father right then and there, but I knew it was important to ask by myself. Around 11 Robby had told me how he how he felt he didn't want to say anything so I wouldn't feel influenced when I knelt down in prayer.
So I knew it was time to leave him and go ask I drove to the Gilbert Temple and listened to "I Need Thee Every Hour" by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. That song had me tearing up again. I got to the temple and parked right in front, where I use to park when I would FaceTime Robby. I prayed, and pleaded, with faith that I cannot take credit for. I was given strength, even though my heart had never ached so bad in my whole life. I crawled into the back seat of the Prius, and knelt down. I cried so hard and out loud. I told Heavenly Father how badly I needed an answer. I did my best to push my wants out of the way…and told him I would do whatever He asked of me. My first thought was that a mission may be the answer. I got this sick feeling, I felt as thought I should get out of the car I was just so nauseous. I sat in tears, still praying to know if that was what He truly wanted me to do. And that is when the most clear, calming feeling overcame me. And that was the one that said "Corinne, you do not need to serve a mission." It was the answer I had received over and over those 11 months, when I questioned time and time again. I cannot begin to explain the amount of peace that came in that answer and then again in my next question. The Spirit touched my heart so strongly as I asked Heavenly Father immediately after if it was His will that I marry Robby. Again it was a peaceful but resounding "Yes". I cried again, and thanked Him for leading me to be at this point. I thanked Him for Robby, which I can never do enough. It was incredibly difficult to go through this process, but I was given insight into something I had never experienced. It was a gentle reminder of both our Heavenly Father's sacrifice of His only Begotten Son. And I felt I could really relate to Abraham when God asked Him to sacrifice Isaac. I thought about how maybe God just needed to see that I was willing to submit my will to His. Although Abraham was asked to sacrifice his only son, God allowed him to not once he saw that Abraham was willing to do whatever God asked of him. As exhausting and overwhelming as it was, it was very humbling to receive such a powerful witness that I have been and am continuing to do the will of The Lord. The answers sunk so deeply, and I am grateful they did.
The next morning I got this message from Robby that read this:
"Good morning! I love you! I fell asleep praying and I think I woke up about 30 times throughout the night… And I definitely dreamed about you! Almost texted you at 4 in the morning… haha"
And this was my reply:
"Thank you for doing all of this for us, and me. I love you so so much! I have never prayed so hard in my entire life. The Lord is guiding us though, and I honestly have never had a more resounding answer to my prayers. It's NOT His will for me to serve a mission. And He kept confirming it to me over and over and over. I will tell you all about i in a little bit, and even thought I don't like doing it over text I think it's important I let you know that as soon as possible :) "
Then he responded with this:
"I started crying when I read this… <3 Thanks for letting me know! I would have been a wreck at work...Even though I'm still super shaky…Haha Anyways! I'll see you at lunch!! Love you with all my heart!!! "
I was kneeling at my bedside when I read that last message, and I broke down in tears again. I was trying to hide it from Megan, but I was crying such happy tears, my whole body was shaking and so Megan of course wanted to make sure I was ok. We had a good little talk, even though I was (just like Robby said) super shaken up from the last 12 hours.
I am so grateful that the Lord has trusted Robby and I to go through these difficult times and challenges. We have learned to rely on Him so much more. Robby is so full of faith, and hope. He is such an amazing son of God, who knows his purpose and is so willing to stay by my side and stick with me through everything.
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