Nineteen

Here goes my last teenage year! I had a marvelous 19th birthday on Monday! It was basically like any other Monday-- school, work, BUT I did get my free food and was overwhelmed with so many sweet birthday wishes and messages from friends and family! That's the main reason I love birthdays! Birthday card's in the mail and phone calls from Grandma and Pops {when they sing their "Happy Birthday" medley they come up with each year, it adorable} I am so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life who make me feel so loved, appreciated, and special. :) My heart just wants to explode it is so full!



Sorry I hate to do this...but I also need a little vent sesh...feel free to skip over it...

I am an easily stressed out person, so I contribute this to that side of me. But it seems to me that college is not as "fun" as we all thought it would be. Why do I say "we"? I get the feeling that I'm not the only one going through this little rough patch. I've heard from friends {and have seen lot's of complaining on people's Facebooks} about how hard it is---I'm sure you get the picture. During high school I was always told how "fun" college was...well I'm kinda still waiting for that part. The load of work only is getting bigger, exams are becoming more frequent and I feel like I can't keep up with all these due dates! The coursework is interesting...but it is hard to take it all in...and be expected to remember every waking detail. I'm not hanging out with lots of new people, and I'm not in the mood to either. I wish I could keep all my friends here {yep feeling selfish right now}. I'm jealous of the BYU crowd and how things are always happening there...it's not as easy to get into that fluff of college when you live at home and attend ASU. I wanna get "involved" but honestly don't feel I have time to. I go to school during the day and work late-afternoon until night, then cram in homework and studying the rest of the night/early morning. I don't even know how to have a social life anymore it seems! The only time I've actually done things is when my friends are back in town. Oh how I miss them.

Institute is helping me a lot to deal with all this. Feeling the peace the gospel brings and knowing that whatever I do, as long as I do my best I am making my Heavenly Father proud. He doesn't care that I got a B on my chemistry exam, or care that I haven't found my niche in college yet. He cares that I am trying to do my best. He understands my struggles, my hopes and fears and wishes and dreams. Something I loved that we talked about tonight in institute was praying to the Lord to find peace. Learning to trust and seek His will rather than our own. I struggle with that so much, I know I need to improve and learn to see the "bigger picture" and Christ is the way I know I can.

Here's to my motto: "I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

I can do hard things, and college is my new hard thing.